here, there, everywhere

Sometimes Hallmark holidays look so outwardly identical around the world that you don't realize the underlying structures are actually quite different from the ones you take for granted back home. Case in point: Valentine's Day. As you can see from the diagram above, drawn by one of my students, the ceremonial exchange of chocolate or cookies in Japan is a two-pronged affair, with women giving men sweets on Feb 14th (Fig. 1) and men repaying the favor full month later on White Day (Fig.2)*. As is illustrated by the whiteboard diagram, February 14th is the girl's chance to 'fess up to feelings she'd otherwise be too shy to reveal, and a reply of some sort is expected. So if the love is mutual, the guy can respond in kind with a cookie or chocolate on the appropriate date (Fig. 2a).** However, if a lady gives a man she's interested in chocolate and he's not that into her himself (Fig. 3), he can gently let her down by giving her marshmallows instead of chocolate on same day (Fig. 3a) *** Or, of course, he can give her nothing, at any time (Fig.3b).

So, with that in mind, a very happy Valentine's Day to half of you! And, credit where credit is due: the awesome diagram above was drawn by one of my favorite classes ever, a group of hilarious engineers who made it very clear that I owe them giri chocolate next class.

* Though platonic Valentine's sweets are also exchanged, the gender divide remains; thus, women typically bring giri - obligatory - chocolate to their male co-workers, and presumably receive some in exchange a month later, though my (all male) students were less clear on this point. The diagram above, however, concerns only the romantic giving of chocolate.


** Giving Japanese men an advantage over their American counterparts: there's no awkwardness when your girlfriend whips out a bouquet of roses and you've gotten her nothing! You have a whole month to get your act together, and it *still* won't look like an afterthought. 


*** I double checked with Yuka on this one, and while she was instantly familiar with the concept, she added it was mostly a middle school thing. Rats.